As of September 22, Jordan has been out a year! I'm more than halfway there. At the time I should have been celebrating I was crushed. In my mind, it didn't mean: I've done it! A whole year without him! I can do this! Instead it meant: Oh God, I have to do all of that over again? I have to relive the worst year of my life again? I was hurting. I hated it. That day brought back memories of last year when I let him go. I remembered our last conversation on the phone when we both cried. I remembered our last night together. I read over our last text conversation. It was killing me knowing I had to survive the holidays alone again. I'll be with my family while my cousins bring over their significant others to meet everyone. I can't do that for another 11 months.
Some days I'm not so emo. I know I can do it! I'm more optimistic. I can be happy. When he get's back we'll be together and everything will be okay. I just have to wait a little bit longer.
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